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Listen, we've all been there, so you're definitely not alone in this one.
Every now and then, sometimes more often than others, we get feedback that brings us down. Why? Because either someone else's opinion doesn't match our own perception of ourselves, or because it actually reinforces something that we believe about ourselves, and which we don't like.
Listen, we've all been there, so you're definitely not alone in this one.
Every now and then, sometimes more often than others, we get feedback that brings us down. Why? Because either someone else's opinion doesn't match our own perception of ourselves, or because it actually reinforces something that we believe about ourselves, and which we don't like.
In any case, you and I can both agree that it sucks. However, there is something that we can do so that it only sucks a little and lasts a little, as opposed to it sucking the life out of us and leaving us feeling miserable for days. (Not to mention the birth of new insecurities that can easily arise from that one negative feedback).
The one thing that we MUST remember
The one thing that we must remember so that negative feedback doesn't bring us down, is that if we're not struggling every now and then, we're not growing. If our purpose in life is to learn something new everyday, and to be in constant growth, it's totally fine to receive negative feedback from time to time. It simply means that we don't know it all.
Why negative feedback actually hurts
The reason why negative feedback hurts so much, is not because of the feedback itself. It hurts because of how we interpret what's going on. We feel vulnerable, because we believe that the other person may be discovering that we really have no clue of what we're doing. I say ''we believe'', because that is a thought that pops in the moment and we unconsciously choose to believe; the thought that tells us that we truly know nothing. But you do know your stuff. You know a lot. You are just not super pro yet at that one thing, and the only way to someday feel comfortable in that sea, is to keep swimming.
This is by far your best option
You have to keep swimming! Even when the current is making you spin in all directions. Even when your arms and legs are hurting because you have been swimming for too long. Even when you no longer see the shore from which you left, nor the one that you are heading towards. Keep swimming sweetie, because standing in the middle of the water is not more fun. I can assure you that as long as you keep going, you will make it.
Trust me on this one. We have all gotten negative feedback at some point, and we have all felt crappy about it. But the truth is that probably in 5 months (imagine in 1 year or 5 years) you won't even remember those nasty comments. So take the best from them today, absorb them objectively, take their juice, learn what you need to learn, remove the deep hardcore beliefs about yourself that your mind is creating around them, and remember that you are a beautiful and powerful human being, in NO way less skilled or capable than anyone else.
Life is for you to experience, feel and enjoy, remember this!
Love,
Mary.
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